Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
