I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
