no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
