I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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