dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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