i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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