I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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