Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The Olympian is in my bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
