So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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