I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
