Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
