SEEEEXXX PLEASE
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
