it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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