Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
