Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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