OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
