So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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