dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
