is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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