What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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