he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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