Why are handjobs necessary in class?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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