omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize