its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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