oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
