I'd wear matching sweaters with you
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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