Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I queefed so loud it echoed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Boobs speak an international language.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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