Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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