is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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