talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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