Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize