yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
