i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
