I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
