I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i came on her dog
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
