just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize