She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
