and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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