I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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