i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
