She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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