I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize