yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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