nut hugger
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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