Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
