I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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