where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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