Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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