The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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