Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize