they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
