The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
