Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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