omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
