I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
