her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
