just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
