Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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