So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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