forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
