Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize