Grow some girl-balls and come out already
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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