he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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