It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
