I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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